Mark's Apology Note Generator

[Andrew]

So it's like (should that be lyke?) 12 years old and 64m people got there before me, but I still found it quite funny.


Love, marriage, and relationships can be difficult. Sometimes, all it takes is an apology. I've resorted to using this simple form for all my butt-kissing needs.

Mark's Apology Note Generator (http://www.karmafarm.com/formletter.html)

There's also a version for the fairer sex...

During the ascension of Mark's Apology Note Generator to god-like status among the lovelorn males of the Web, I have been swamped with requests for a female version.

But I just couldn't do it. It wasn't in me. In short, women don't apologize. So instead, I created the Bitch Letter Generator in the hopes that women will provide us with a consistent barage of criticism. As men can deal with anything consistent, Mark's Bitch Letter Generator should smooth the rocky road of life by allowing men to anticipate, evade, and privately understand the odd ramblings of women the world over.

Mark's Bitch Letter Generator (http://www.karmafarm.com/letter.html)

[Andrew]

Sample output

From:
To:
Subject:"I truly apologize..."

Dear, Darlin',

I'm the lowest form of life for forgetting to wear matching socks. I was on my knees worshipping your shrine,
and thought I'd ask Dave to help me with it tomorrow.

So I'm wracked with guilt, hoping you don't sell me into scientific experiments. Please, I'll never do it again.
Please don't eat my chinese take-out from yesterday.


Love,
Your loving Significant Other


From:
To:
Subject:"You better read this NOW!"

Dear Worm,

I've been burning with hatred, and, unable to verbalize my
feelings in a manner in which you would understand, put the matter
aside until I could conjur up a more focused thought to bear.

In a nutshell, you are worthless.

And another thing, if you ever want to get laid again,
then you'd better crawl over here and lick my boot, or
I'll run off to Mexico with Eva and Fred. Yes BOTH of them. At once!

I hate you,

The last woman on earth you will ever have sex with.